Approaching the Wait

Yesterday, we finally completed our financial forms for the home study. Today, we're going to try to head to the notary office to get our SH background check started. And then we only have one letter left to get...we're getting close to finishing the paperwork stage....but now, even as I am very excited to be finished, I realize that I'm just entering another stage that involves me not doing anything but waiting. Waiting is harder than doing for me. What if we aren't chosen? What it it takes months and months? Who is/are our child(ren)? Where are they from? How are their genetic parents? Where are they waiting? How weird this is to wondering these questions, thinking about our little snowflakes frozen in a tube in a clinic somewhere in America. I long for this waiting to be over and for the baby(ies) to be here, yet I know that I have MUCH longer to wait. And then as a friend so gently reminded me yesterday, enjoy the here and now, when they come, they can not go back! Yea, I know that children are not easy, the reality of that sinking in more and more as I see all my friends with new babies around me. They need so much grace and lack so much sleep. So...again, I am reminded that God is sovereign and his timing is always best. Lord, make this next stage no faster and no slower than you desire. Make it slow enough to prepare John and I to be the parents you want us to be and make it fast enough to give these babies a better chance at life and a permanent home--whether that be with you or with us temporarily.