I still don't have words

I've been sitting at my computer for a while trying to think of what to write to update my blog, but nothing. I don't have adequate words I need to express what I feel. I just keep listening to songs on youtube and crying.  I need to cry, but I need help to cry.  I have a billion words to say but don't know where to start.  The words in these songs help me express how I feel.

This is what I want to say to our little one:

Glory Baby

by Watermark

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUZkjbYaKPA

Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby…baby..
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…
Until we’re home with you…

Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a
day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
‘till mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little babies, it’s hard to
understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…

BRIDGE:
I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies
and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…

This is what I want to say to God, and what he says to me:

I Will Carry You (Audrey's Song)
by Selah 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlDUkp1Ts8A&feature=endscreen&NR=1

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

[Chorus]
I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says ...

I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

This is what I want to say about how I feel about the world and heaven right now:

Heaven Got Another Angel
By Gordon True
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hASQH9EfQA&feature=related


The roses aren't as pretty
The sun isn't quite as high
The birds don't sing as sweet of a lullaby
The stars are a little bit faded
The clouds are just a little more gray
And it feels like things won't ever be the same

Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind
Heaven got a little better the day that it took you away from me
I'm missing you tonight
I'll see you again sometime
For now, I'll close my eyes
And dream of heaven tonight

The beaches aren't as lovely
The sky isn't quite as blue
Still, they're sweetened by the memory of you
The rain is a little bit colder
The fire is never quite as warm
Still, it seems that heaven isn't all that far

Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind
Heaven got a little better the day that it took you away from me
I'm missing you tonight
I'll see you again sometime
For now, I'll close my eyes
And dream of heaven tonight

I'm spending a little more time now with the things that mean a little bit more
I'm noticing the wonders of this world
I love with a little more hope now
I live with a little more peace
Cause I understand how precious life can be



This is how I feel about this journey and my future:


If you want me to
By Ginny Owens
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OO0vf16iJA&feature=related


The pathway is broken 
And The signs are unclear 
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here 
But just because You love me the way that You do 
I'm gonna walk through the valley 
If You want me to 

Chorus: 
Cause I'm not who I was 
When I took my first step 
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet 
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you 
Then I will walk through the fire 
If You want me to 

It may not be the way I would have chosen 
When you lead me through a world that's not my home 
But You never said it would be easy 
You only said I'd never go alone 

ya oh oh no

So When the whole world turns against me 
And I'm all by myself 
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help 
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through 
And I will go through the valley If You want me to