Our Memorial Celebration & Closure

A week ago Sunday, we had a memorial service (I called it a celebration to help me remember that this occasion wasn't all sad). It was beautiful, and it has really helped me get through this week, bring closure to this difficult year, and as I have told some friends already, it just finally felt right after feeling so many wrongs.

We started with a little introduction to our little ones and the time line of what happened.  We listened to this song while reading and looking at pictures. I've found myself being encouraged by the fact that just as I carried the little ones, God will be carrying us the rest of our lives no matter what happens. He is the only one who can get us through this tragedy and others to come.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLuaGiu73jc

I Will Carry You (Audrey's Song)
by Selah 
from the album "You Deliver Me"

Lyrics:

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

[Chorus]
I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says ...

I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

After this, our friend, Josh, read a letter that our adoption agency sent us last week. It was a letter from our embryos:

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

We don't know each other very well because we weren't together very long, but we want you to know that we felt your love and anticipation and excitement.

We know you would make great parents but you can't imagine how wonderful it is being in heaven. Jesus welcomed us into His arms with a big hug and then introduced us to Daddy’s grandpas and Mommy’s grandparents. We are having a great time together. They are telling us all about you, Daddy and Mommy, when you were born and how you grew up. They are very proud of you. We'll have lots to catch up on when you get here!

We just want you to know we are loved and well cared for here just as we would have been if we had stayed with you. But we have to obey Jesus when He says come home so that's what we did.

Until we meet in heaven! 

WE LOVE YOU ,

Your little ones

After that, we sang How Firm a Foundation. Our friend, Pauline, played guitar for us. It was wonderful to have so many friends with us and all singing together. The more we sang, the more it felt like death was defeated and that God's power was unleashed on us despite our sadness.

Then my dad read excerpts from a sermon called The Gladness of Sadness. It was perfect, and it really affirmed for me that mourning is a blessed thing and that God WILL comfort us.

After that, our friend, Corrie, sang Blessings by Laura Story. It was absolutely beautiful! I love the words of that song. I first heard it in Grand Rapids, Michigan in the fall when I was back for our first transfer. I was waiting in the car for some reason, and the song came on the radio. It really spoke to me right then, that God doesn't promise happiness, but he does promise blessings although they may come in disguise. I just think too many people these days seek out happiness and comfort and wonder why things go wrong. (This is why I've been so torn up by the tragedy this year and wondering why God would allow anything bad to happen).  I think I'm beginning to come to grips with the fact that difficulty, even extreme pain or hardship or suffering or death, can all be used by God for his good.  I shouldn't run away from trouble, but see it as a sign that I'm actually doing the RIGHT thing, not the wrong thing. God has always used pain more than prosperity in my life.

Then we did a responsive reading together, and had a short prayer time. We were really encouraged by the prayers about how our journey had affected so many people and the prayers for comfort, healing and guidance for the future.  

Reader 1: Brothers and sisters, listen to the words of the book of Lamentations (3:17-26) :

Hope in the Lord. My soul is deprived of peace, I have forgotten what happiness is; I tell myself my future is lost, all that I hoped for from the Lord. The thought of my homeless poverty is wormwood and gall; Remembering it over and over leaves my soul downcast within me. But I will call this to mind, as my reason to have hope: The favors of the LORD are not exhausted, his mercies are not spent; They are renewed each morning, so great is his faithfulness. My portion is the LORD, says my soul; therefore will I hope in him. Good is the LORD to one who waits for him, to the soul that seeks him; It is good to hope in silence for the saving help of the LORD.

Reader1:

Let us pray to God who throughout the ages has heard the cries of parents. Lord, hear our prayer.

Reader 2: 

For John and Stephanie, who know the pain of grief, that they may be comforted, we pray.

Reader 3: 

For this family, that it may find new hope in the midst of suffering, we pray.

Reader 4: 

For these parents, that they may learn from the example of Mary, who grieved by the cross of her Son, we pray.

Reader 5: 

For all who have suffered the loss of a child, that Christ may be their support, we pray.

All:

(PRAYER OF BLESSING)

Lord, God of all creation we bless and thank you for your tender care. Receive these lives you created in love and comfort your faithful people in their time of loss with the assurance of your unfailing mercy.

We ask this through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

At the end of our little service we sang In Christ alone.  It was so powerful and so beautiful to hear all of our friends singing out truth and truly believing it!

My sweet cell group girls gave me this beautiful bracelet!  It says, in everything give thanks.  What a wonderful reminder for me. I've already worn it twice this week.

Thank you to everyone who was a part of this beautiful service. It really helped us and we are so thankful for the support and prayers. Thank you to all the ladies who kept me busy this week and are keeping me accountable.  We love you all.